I think my friends list is friendly enough for me to be saying this amongst friends (I’m giving myself a point for every time I use the word friend or friends).
Some of you may know I have a bit of a problem with ‘doing things’ I get weird anxiety issues about making or answering phone calls, driving to unfamiliar places or even socialising with friends (SIX POINTS). Some times it gets so bad I cancel plans or don’t do something simple like drive to the shops.
It’s not crippling but it can be enough to ruin a day or just make me feel generally unpleasant in the stomach. The weird thing is that on a good day I think I am actually quite good at social stuff, even public speaking etc…
I had a bit of an episode today.
I haven’t left the house much this week as I have been spending the last week of my holiday finishing of all the hobby stuff I wanted to do. I needed to pop out today to pick up some supplies so I went over to the shopping centre.
All good, I’ve been there plenty of times on my own, it’s close and apart from nearly always forgetting where I’ve parked the car it’s usually a non-scary event free trip. Today I was feeling extra chirpy and even asked the man in the nerd games shop to show me a demo of a miniatures game. I played a game with him and headed home.
I started spray painting a board I was making for my X-Wing game and I ran out of paint. I knew I needed to go to Bunnings but suddenly the weird anxiety kicked in and I really didn’t want to go.
This time I pushed on through got out there and bought the paint (I even got asked for ID – “Are you over 18” – “I’m 34!”)
On the way home I felt pretty pleased with myself for doing it and also being outgoing with the games shop man.
It feels weird being proud of going to a couple of shops and not hiding in the house but some days it really does feel like a victory. I think telling all you friendly friends (EIGHT POINTS – I’m allowing friendly now) is another step on getting this stupid thing under control for good.
I still feel a bit weird now but then I am quite a bit weird.
FRIENDS FRIENDS TEN POINTS WIN!