It’s been a week since I went to see a Doctor about my anxiety problems and a week of taking medicine for it.
The first day was actually pretty amazing. The relief of having the appointment out of the way and it going really well was massive. I took the first tablet and felt a bit foggy for a couple of hours but was otherwise fine. I was even able to go out in the evening with friends to an unfamiliar venue and have a really pleasant evening.
Things went a bit downhill from day 2 onwards. I’d spoken to the doctor, pharmacist and read up on the Internet about side effects so I would know what to expect. I was however not really prepared for how it would feel.
Nausea and headaches are easy to explain but the weird foggy spacey feeling is harder to put into words. I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything and felt like my mind was drifting off. Part of it was like forgetfulness but not quite. More like I have the thought but I just can’t access it at the moment.
It was not pleasant and I did not want to be around people or attempt to drive whilst feeling like this so I stayed home from work.
Another side effect of this kind of medicine is that it can actually make the thing you are taking it for worse. This was really weird and I had a few ‘anxiety incidents’ with all the physical symptoms but none of the worry. I did get anxious about booking my appointment with a psychologist but Alana helped me with that.
I started to worry that people would be able to tell I was being spacey and returning to work became a source of anxiety. I arranged to take the whole week and was able to get past that issue.
By Wednesday the side effects where worse in the morning but fading into the evening. I had some friends come around for some games of 40k in the evening. I almost cancelled because I was worried I would be too spacey to play and they would notice but they are good guys and I knew they would understand. The games went fine and we had a good laugh playing. This gave me a massive confidence boost about interacting with people.
By Thursday morning the fog faded a few hours after taking the tablet and I was able to do some painting. I had not had the concentration before to even try so this was good. I find hobby really relaxing and therapeutic. The process is calming and it’s nice to have a tangible result at the end of it.
Friday I was getting stir crazy so waited for the morning fog to lift and went to spend the afternoon at the nerd shop. My friend works there so we had lunch, played a game and I had a good chat. Walking into the shopping centre did give me a minor anxiety thing but I just put my head down and pushed through it.
So now I’m feeling pretty good. The fog has already lifted this morning, the nausea and headache is mild enough to almost not be there.
The next big steps are going back to work and the appointment with the psychologist next Friday. I hope the side effects of the medication are going to be worth it.
I’ll end on a thank you to everyone, family, old friends and new for being so open and supportive. Couldn’t do it without you all.