So I woke up feeling sick, felt obliged to do some work and then got upset over something.
Far too upset. Whilst I had some awareness that I was probably more upset than I should be I wasn’t really feeling clear enough to stop the un-useful thoughts.
Being upset made me more upset. I’ve thrown myself into learning about therapy and psychology and have been really excited about being able to get better. To find myself sobbing over work was such a disappointment it just got worse and worse. I felt like I had gone backwards a thousand miles. It’s been quite a pathetic day.
Now I am still feeling really low but I understand being flu-ish isn’t helping. I have no idea what to do about work but I am going to try to be kinder to myself about my progress.
I’m feeling ashamed for being ‘weak’ and sad because I don’t know how to fix everything.I know I have to give myself a chance though.
If I can’t be kind to myself I won’t be able to be kind to other people which means I won’t be able to maintain my core values.
I know this is just a blip and tomorrow or later I’ll be feeling better.