I awoke this morning to knocking on the door. Still mostly asleep I glanced at the time – 6.57am.
I did what any other hero would do. I hid under the covers. Another knock. As I wake up I begin to realise the knocking is not entirely unexpected. A shape moves past the bedroom window.
Men have arrived. Men with pipes! I dart out of the bedroom grabbing my dressing gown as I leave.
I jump into the shower noticing how cold it is this morning. As the hot water warms my head my brain slowly spins up to pre-caffeination cognition levels. This is enough to remember that men with pipes are coming today to move the gas bottles.
I exit the shower and wrap myself in towels and dressing gown. I should speak to the pipes. Or the men. They might need tea.
As luck would have it a pipe is making it’s way from the road past the front door. I fling the door open and issue a merry ‘good morning! you are looking coppery today!’.
“Oh hi, we did knock, we are moving the gas bottles. Do you need the gas?”
“NO, SIR, FOR I AM PREPARED AND HAVE ALREADY SHOWERED AND THAT IS PROBABLY WHERE I WAS WHEN YOU KNOCKED NOT HIDING IN BED HOPING YOU WOULD GO AWAY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA I’M HAVING SOME AND SOME TOAST BUT I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH BREAD FOR ALL OF US”