It’s been over a year since I found the courage to ask for help.
14 months ago I embraced vulnerability and walked into a doctor’s office.
I learned how medicine could give me the shield I needed to find the space between my anixety and my authentic self.
In therapy I learned that in this space there are practices I can use to ease my suffering.
I learned what I truely believe in, I discovered my core values and built a framework to keep me aligned to them.
14 months ago I realised I was not alone.
Many of you have been on this journey with me, loving and supporting me at every step. Many of you have shared your own journeys with me. This is more than social media my friends. We have made, and keep, real connections. You guys give me energy and you fuel my desire to succeed, you are often the source of my hope. With all the paradoxical disconnection of this over connected world always remember there are hearts and souls behind the screens and devices all aching to find belonging and genuine connection.
14 months ago I realised I would be ok.
In some of the hardest months of my life, through upheaval, heartbreak, grief and loss I’ve always known I would come out of this. That the suffering would pass. That I would be ok.
I learned that in every loss and every heartbreak there is a lesson to be learned. A way to grow and a way to become stronger.
Most importantly I learned that the one true power we all have that nothing or no one can take away from us is the ability to choose how we react to the things in our lives. We can’t control every thing that happens but we can always find that space that exists between things. If we are present in this space we can ease pain, reduce suffering, make choices and live wholeheartedly.
When I reflect on how I once was I almost don’t recognise the person I see. The person that would feel physically sick answering a phone or driving to a new place. The person that would go hungry or thirsty due to anixety. The person that was letting life pass him by thinking that living was for other people.
I try not to take change for granted. Every time I drive to a new place or do a new thing I stop to acknowledge the fact that I have rewired parts of my brain. I am so far along now positive responses have become the new default replacing the old anxious ones.
I know that there is no destination in this journey. I will never be ‘cured’ of anxiety or overthinking.
I choose to live my life in the ways I find to be important. To live by the principals of kindness, mindfulness, giving and gratitude and to make all my actions align with these values.
By doing this I will be as well as I can be. I will be enough.